Monday, December 21, 2009

Justifying Being a Lazy Ass and the Asshat of the Year Nominations

I'm looking at what we have left this year in politics, and gauging how much I can squeeze out of it, and I'm really not finding much.

The House is out until January.  So there's nothing there.  Except maybe finding unflattering  pics of Nancy Pelosi so I can torture and stress out my liberal readers with saggy boobs (pun intended).  But since Shaw is still on the mend, I'll kindly refrain. 

The Senate is still chugging along on health care, with the possibility of voting on Christmas Eve (why the fuck?!?!?!), as well as passing some spending bills for defense (and water parks and "art" from retards, and whale sperm, and votes, etc....).  Since the real fight is reconciling the bullshit passed by the House with the mongoloid bill from the Senate, that's over until next year.  And since it's the season of giving, I won't nitpick whatever stupid things got added to the defense bill (even though it's the Senate giving other people's money).

And President Obama will probably give at least one more major speech during prime time that will cut into something I want to watch, which will piss me off, but not really impart any usable information.  He's managed to get a nice pointless Copenhagen agreement that is (thankfully) all words and no real action (you expected something else?), which will, of course, come back here and be spun every which way imaginable (you can do that when it's just words).

Which leaves us with more stories about Tiger Woods.

And since half the talking heads will be skipping out of their studios until January, and many of the bloggers I read are going hiatus-y, I'm going to take the opportunity to concentrate on cleaning, Christmasing, and recharging the batteries for a clean assault on the Imperial federal government in January.  So other than next weeks awarding of Asshat of the Year, this is it for posts this year (unless something absolutely demanding comment pops up).

And on that note:

Nominations for Asshat of the Year!!!

As I have over four dozen people I have mocked and taunted over the past year for their failings as human beings, I have a big list to choose from. I do have an idea or two as to a proper recipient, but I would like some input. There are some suggested requirements:

1. The person has to be a prominent political figure, with at least one demonstrably stupid statement over the past year.

2. The person must have some significant controversy over something as well.

3. Single statements of blather don't count (Joe Wilson's 'you lie' for example), but continued idiotic commentary is worthy.

4. Extra weight will be given to your nominee if he or she appears on the AOTW list.

5. extra wight will be given if your nominee gets other mocking awards for their comments and/or actions.

6. Not John McCain (because he got it last year and because I want the motherfucker to cease political existence) or Mike Huckabee (because I want him to go away before he becomes the nominee in 2012 and I have to abandon the GOP forever).

So give me the nominee, make your case. Cite any specific links. I'm not going to rip anybody for their nominee, because it's a perceptual thing. And I don't necessarily care about political persuasion, I care about a demonstrable ability of a politician to insert foot in mouth and head in ass. And if you're going to go obvious (Obama or Palin), you better have a big argument, because I can easily think of a dozen reasons for each.

So hop to it, enjoy the Solstice, rock the Festivus, and Merry Christmas!


Shaw Kenawe said...

Hi Patrick,

Just stopping by to be a pain in the culo. I'm baaaaaaaaaaak!

Beth said...

I nominate the political whore Democrat Senators who think bending over to take it in the ass to sell their vote is the way to make a living, I mean who else works in the middle of the fucking night?

Beth said...

By the way, welcome back Shaw, I hope you are doing well.

Satyavati devi dasi said...

You don't wait on a clock when shit is important enough. Wouldn't it suck if your local ER told you that you had to wait until 9AM to get any care?

I'd like to nominate Mrs. Palin, for doing her part to end the oppressive Republican presence in the White House and elsewhere.. for her stick-to-it-iveness in her gubernatorial reign.. for her endearing habit of just making shit up for dramatic purposes and for reminding us that common sense just ain't that common anymore.

Z-man said...

The best I can come up with for the time being is SC Guv Mark Sanford. OK these scandals are a dime-a-dozen (and Tiger ain't a political figure so I couldn't go with him) but the whole soulmate business, those poetic e-mails ("holding your breast in the moonlight") and at first saying you're hiking the Appalachian Trail when you're really in Argentina probably with a butt plug, it's not the morality of it per se it's the couple of loose screws that need tightening is all.

bathmate said...

Thanks for your lovely posting. I really enjoyed it.

Beth said...

You don't wait on a clock when shit is important enough. Wouldn't it suck if your local ER told you that you had to wait until 9AM to get any care?

Doesn't this bill go into full effect in 2013?? That's a very long wait in the ER right there I think.

They did not have to vote RIGHT NOW in the middle of the night and sell their souls to do it. Why don't you step back sometime Saty and look at the big picture? Think of the situation this way, if the Republicans were forcing votes at 1:00 a.m. on the weekend during the busy Christmas week and had 60 Republicans onboard because they sold their votes to try to make a Constitutional amendment to protect the unborn, wouldn't you think it sucks? (which I think, btw, would save more lives than the health care bill, but I digress...)

It doesn't matter WHAT they are voting on, its how they are going about it that is so wrong, I mean truly it is unAmerican and unconstitutional!

Just My Opinion. said...

I nominate Shaw Kenawe

Just My Opinion said...

And Satyavati devi dasi for second place.

Patrick M said...

Beth, Satya: Do you two have to keep sniping each other? I just want a good case set forth for the AOTY post. Hell, you can nominate each other, just make it entertaining.

JMO: You're missing a why. Not likely I'll even consider them without it.

I expect better.

Beth said...

For the record, Patrick, pointing out the obvious is not sniping.

Beth said...

If you want to change my vote to be party neutral, then I nominate any politician who would sell his or her own grandmother to pass legislation that has no Constitutional basis, okay?

Merry Christmas, Patrick!

TAO said...

I think your Ass Hat Of The Year should go to all the conservative bloggers out there....

There are millions of you, it is a close knit group and even with the support of Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, and hundreds of millions of dollars in money to healthcare lobbyists you were all, for the most part...pretty much irrelevant...

Z-man said...

TAO for the record I'm a conservative blogger but I follow my own drummer, I mean do you remember any other conservative blogger out there who took Henry Louis Gates' position when Sgt. James Crowley arrested him for breaking and entering his own domain? To this day I STILL think it was absurd if you want to look at it objectively. As for being a close-knit group that would kind of make it a cyber-conspiracy...OK we meet at Beth's house, gotta say the gal can cook!

Jo-Joe Politico said...

For my nomination I would pick people like TAO and Shaw the once that are brain dead and who are still in awe of Obama. And are relentless in calling the conservative's names. Let's look at the video tape.. 62% of Americans do not want this bill.

This so-called "representative" government does not care what you want.

They only care that they have the power to do what they want, no matter what you want.

They are in control and you mean nothing to them.

And 38% of you will sit by and let this happen, either too stupid or not caring that you have been deceived.

Even you liberals will not like what's in this bill, but you will never be rid of it.

You will not like living in a county controlled by a few elitists who see themselves as smarter than you.

You won't like it, but you will be powerless to do anything about it.

As it stands now, the blood of our forefathers was wasted.

We might just as well have remained British subjects and eschewed the Revolutionary War.

By Christmas Day the great experiment will have ended, its funding cut off and its rule placed in the hands of an oligarchy.
Thanks to those of you who put him in office, President BO has begun giving us the change he hoped for: the demise of the American Way of Life as we have known it.
Obama is an absolute joke and will be judged by history as the worst president in modern times due to his handling of the financial crisis, overinflated ego and sheer lack of understanding of the fundamentals of our economy. The more his administration regulates, the worse the situation gets. Obama needs to worry more about the issues at hand and less about his celebrity status. His ego has now taken control of every decision and the idiots who voted for him are directly to blame. By electing this unqualified we have endangered the future of this great nation. His ineptitude is unbelievably apparent to educated individuals. He is completely incapable of answering even a single question with a straight answer and without the use of a teleprompter. His double talk confuses the idiots who voted for him into total submission. The people that think he is doing a good job are looking to him to bail them out, due to their poor financial decisions that has decimated our financial systems.

rockync said...

I nominate Traitor Joe Lieberman:

Who forgot that he was voted into office by his constituents as a DEMOCRAT.

Who said,“I want Democrats to be back in the majority in Washington and elect a Democratic president in 2008.” — Joe Lieberman, 7/7/06

And also: Lieberman made clear that he firmly opposes Democrats gaining 60 seats in the Senate, saying that he “fears” for the survival of the U.S. if Democrats break the filibuster threshold.11/04/08

Talk about two faced! This creep makes Bernie Madoff look trustworthy in comparison.

I suppose a close second for AOTY would be the Democratic Senate committee that actually let this turncoat grub keep his good standing. What a joke.

Kind of hard to keep telling people that their vote counts when you have LIEberman running around thumbing his nose that them.

Mr.Fitnah said...

TAO said...

I think your Ass Hat Of The Year should go to all the conservative bloggers out there..


TRUTH 101 said...

I would nominate myself for no other reason than to join outstanding people like Saty who have been named AOTW. Sadly, Patrick disqualified me with his first rule of nomination. I haven't said anything stupid this year. Hell. I don't think Ive said anything stupid since I started blogging. I may never be AOTW.

TAO said...

Merry Christmas Patrick!

TRY to have some fun this holiday...

Satyavati devi dasi said...

I'd like to go ahead and nominate Beth for Asshat of the Year.

Throughout the past year, Beth's been unfailingly consistent in her inability to see outside her box, to the degree that it takes actual inversion of logic and nigh-blindness to reality to maintain her convictions.

She's been able to relate any topic whatsoever (however distant it may be from the subject) to the abortion issue (to the point that the actual topic was banned here).

She's espoused and promulgated such stunning views as:

I am not saying this to be funny but there is no such thing as extremist conservatives...

which more or less illuminates the non-grasp she has on reality.

Beth's not even willing to agree with things she'd otherwise agree with if they come from a source (for example, myself) that she disapproves of. Conversely, the most ridiculous, inane, deluded nonsense, brought forth from the proper channels, will garner her enthusiastic and devoted support. This is truly a blind loyalty.

Even attempts to put forth ideas in simple, grade-school grammar, with easy-to-understand points and logic, fail miserably; she pays no attention to anything you've said if it doesn't agree with her predetermined convictions. Appeals to common sense, decency, and general logic mean nothing in this case. This has been proven on numerous occasions.

For all of the above reasons and more I'm sure I could come up with if I wasn't so doped up on Nyquil (yes, I'm still sick) I believe that Beth is without question the most deserving candidate for AOTY 2009.

(O)CT(O)PUS said...

Patrick, seasons greetings to you and your family, and may the New Year bring you peace and prosperity.

Somehow, Merry Christmas and AHOTY should not be in the same thread. One would have hoped for a time out from the partisanship and smear-N-jeer so typtical of politics these days. Save it for next year.

Satyavati devi dasi said...

He gave me a deadline, dammit!! I was under time constraints to get it done.


Beth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Satyavati devi dasi said...

I'm gonna go ahead and repost Beth's comment, since Patrick insisted there had to be a case for all nominations:

Beth said...

Salty, You are even dumber that I first thought.. If that could be possible.
The diseased liberal brain is a terrible thing to have.

Z-man said...

Saty I'm not too familiar with most of you here but you certainly seem to be an avid student of Beth's blog (would that I could garner such attention) but be that as it may NONE of us can be elected AOTY because Rule Numero Uno states: (1) The person has to be a prominent political figure. Now unless you're on angel dust none of us qualify.

Satyavati devi dasi said...

No, Patrick said it'd be OK.

I promise.

And actually, I don't read Beth's blog.

Z-man said...

No you don't just like Jack Jordan doesn't watch UMA Thurman movies.

Satyavati devi dasi said...

I don't watch Uma Thurman movies either. I did see part of Kill Bill, but I just don't like her very much.

I'm not sure what would make you think I'm an 'avid student' of Beth's blog. Was there something in particular I said? Everything I know of her I learned right here at Patrick's.

So, the way it boils down is: I don't read Beth's blog. I don't read your blog. I do read Patrick's blog.

Sorry if that hurt, but I wanted to be honest about it.

Shaw Kenawe said...

TAO and Saty,

Some unhappy spittle fleckers have nominated you guys and me for the award--even though Patrick's rules will not allow us to qualify.

May I say that it is an honor for me to be mentioned in the same sentence as you two for this award and for wingnuts to be so envious of your obviously superior intellects that the only reaction to it is infantile equivalent of Nyah, Nyah, Nyah you poopyheads, you! LOL!

I bow in your general direction, TAO and Saty.

My nomination for Asshat of the Year, is, of course, the governor who quit, Sarah Palin.

She's probably overqualified, but nevertheless, a worthy nominee for all the reasons Patrick has stated.

Anonymous said...

I really think that Shaw has a thing ofr Sarah Palin, she seems to have a fixation on her.
But then again it's Shaw, so who knows? Maybe the Boggie man Do.

Our Liberal View said...

LMFAO!!!! You have got to be kidding me. Sarah Palin for the best Comic Relief. Please don't stop! The current Republican Party is the most entertaining party in the history of U.S. politics. If SNL does not make a spoof out of this I am going to be sorely disappointed.
The GOP is finished, washed up and insignificant. The only reason we keep reading these stories is for pure entertainment value. Since there is not much left after 8 years of dictatorial Republican rule and lawing breaking, there isn't much to laugh about. Except of course the complete and utter failure of the GOP that is canabilizing itself.

Like the rest of the country, I can't wait for it to hit the likes of Palin, Jindal, Steele, Cantor, along with Beck, O'Reilly, Rush , and InSanity and the rest of them. It obviously hasn't hit them that they are on their way out

Our Liberal View said...

PS.. I just read that stupid Conservatives blog written by that school girl "Beth"
I usually don't don’t read Righties blogs. I can’t stomach reading their stupid, irrational delusions. I already know all there is to know about them and their psychosis. Conservatives are mentally deranged and are only happy when their reality is ruled by chaos. Up is down, down is up, etc.
"Beth" is either very, very young or very, very ignorant, or both.

A Palin nomination would be the end-game for the GOP for more than 30 years.

Anonymous said...

Easily I to but I dream the collection should have more info then it has.

Z-man said...

Saty: "I'm not sure what would make you think I'm an avid student of Beth's blog."

Well it's like this. You just said Pat allowed you to make this nomination and to back it up and it's natural to assume you'd back it up with the main source, that is Beth's blog. It'd be like going after Glenn Beck but not using excerpts from his show only what other people say about him or what he says in interviews. Seemed logical to me at the time.

"I don't read your blog."

You and apparently not too many other people (lol).

Z-man said...

Shaw I probably wouldn't nominate Sarah Palin for that high honor but I can understand it. She didn't finish out her term as governor, for me that's flakey enough. The folks in Alaska voted for HER to govern them at least for that one term and she couldn't do it. I've worked with people like this, good people who were qualified but they were fly-by-nighters. As soon as they'd have a bad day they'd give their two weeks notice. Quitters, and then they say YOU should do the same. It's a character thing with me and this is one conservative who is NOT on the Sarah Palin bandwagon.

Our Liberal View said...

Just to get off subject for one minute and talk about the Nigerian man who tried to blow up a Northwest Airlines plane in Detroit on Christmas Day

Perhaps you didn't notice, but, unlike 9/11, this attack was not successful. There was no need for immediate action from Omama..

And back to the Ass-Hat nominations, after reading more of this and some of the nominees blogs. I would like to second the nomination of Beth.. She is clearly the koolaide drinker and the ass-hat of the blogisphere.
And a close second place to TAO, who seems to have been let out of the loony bin to early.
A close third runner up would be Shaw. Who has the mind of a true commie.

Right-Wing Libertarian said...

You people are really something else. You are voting for asshat of the year instead of worrying about the state of our nation. And how Obama is bringing us down so fast that most of you idiot lefties don't even know whats going on.
So Beth is an Ass-Hat and Shaw, TAO and Salty are not! Well fools I hope that when your standing on the bread lines you might wise up and see the light.
Beth knows more about whats going on the they whole pack of you MORONS here.. Especially the ones I just named.
It amazes me how arrogant you lefties are. You crown yourselves as the royalty of kindness and compassion, but only as far as someone else's money goes. You equate compassion with giving everyone everything they want just because they want it. Republicans contribute far more to charity, both in time and money (their own money). Enacting all kinds of feel good legislation without worrying about the who and how of paying for it is not compassion, it is stupidity. Stop seeing racist behind every tree and try having a dialogue based on truth, not some sort of warped left wing bias.
Yes, Obama is smart and yes he is what!!?? His incompetence has nothing to do with the color of his skin. It's his far left agenda and his need to cram it down our throats at any cost is his problem. Obama is going to ruin America and what we stand for, that is where his incompetence comes into play...I don`t hate him., but I know he is a threat to my country.....and I recognize him as such

dmarks said...

I hope Huck's finished after his mistake in helping set that criminal free.

Satyavati devi dasi said...

You equate compassion with giving everyone everything they want just because they want it.


I'm a nurse. You ask me for something, it's virtually a guarantee I'm gonna tell you no, especially if it's for pain medicine before it's time for you to have any more, which is probably what you're going to ask me for. And compassion is my business, so you're way off the mark there.

Sorry to have to tell you that you're wrong. At least maybe getting all that hatred off your chest made you feel better.

:* have yourself a happy little day

Satyavati devi dasi said...


As a matter of record, there is no "L" in my name.

Just so that we're all clear on it.

Right-Wing Libertarian said...

Satyavati devi dasi said...

As a matter of record, there is no "L" in my name.

Well you sound pretty damn SALTY to me.

Satyavati devi dasi said...

Um.. is that a compliment?

I'm going to take it as one regardless.

So thank you :*

Patrick M said...

First of all, thanks to all of you for some entertaining reading. I kind of just let you all have at each other while I failed to post shit. It was good reading.

I've tried to condense this shit down into a managable AOTY post. And I think I've done so.

So if I didn't taunt you it's because I don't have enough ammo to mock you. Because given enough time, I can make fun of all of you. I make fun enough of myself (and my inability to score, my minuscule member, and the fact that I had an image of Shaw and Sara Palin making out from one of the comments above and fund myself strangely stimulated).

So now that I've made another tasteless joke, let me end this and get the AOTY post up.

BTW, it's Alan Grayson.

Shaw Kenawe said...

"...and the fact that I had an image of Shaw and Sara Palin making out..."--Patrick M.

Just to set the record straight--ahem, I am a hetero, not that there's anything wrong with that, but if I were NOT and were to chose a same-sex person to make out with, it wouldn't be Sarah--ever, ever!

I would choose Rachel Maddow. Nothing is sexier than an intelligent mind. Nothing.

Stephen Hawking is HOT! As is TAO, TRUTH, and even you, Patrick.


Satyavati devi dasi said...

Um.. Shaw..

Stephen Hawking's just not as hot as, say, for example, Ray Lewis (of the Baltimore Ravens).

He might be as hot as Stephen Jay Gould. Or Jack Horner (of Museum of the Rockies fame, not nursery-rhyme pies). Or Bob Bakker. He might be even a little hotter than Ari Fleischer.

But brains ain't EVERYTHING.