Last week marked one year since the inauguration of President Barack Obama. He's had a year to prove himself an agent of progressive change, a friend to the world, the greatest leader of our generation, and whatever feel-good bullshit slogan you want to slap on here.
Now of course we've been having both happy-slappy and utterly harsh assessments of his first-year job performance. From the giddiness of Shaw's assessment to the grinding pit of pain courtesy of Mike's America (I tried to find a specific post, but there are too many), it's all kinds of fun, with a few facts mixed in for shits and giggles. Hell, even I got into the act of grading the President (he got a B+). But what I have avoided doing is just flinging the title of Asshat of the Week at him, simply because he's too damned obvious a target.
However, as I can look back "fondly" at this first year and celebrate a year of his shit, as well as the anticipation of the State of the Union Address (YES ANOTHER DAMNED SPEECH!!!), I think it's time for me to stop the pussyfooting and have fun with PrezBO:
Yeah I could have made him AOTW every week, so this is kind of a catchup for all the fun I hesitated on.
The TOTUS - The pic at the right says it all (although the link is extra heaping). The difference between Obama on the TOTUS and uh, um, uh, er, uh, off uh, um, mmm, uh, it uh, um, is....
Ok, that was a little extreme, but how did the prior 40+ presidents manage to speak without a teleprompter every second (or without *GASP* any 'prompter to rock)? A year later and he's even letting pics like this get around.
Freedom of Speech - One of the annoyances of the Bush administration was the failure of the President to take to the bully pulpit cost him momentum and sometimes legislation that should have gone through (reform stuff, that is, as the spending shit had no problem). In that sense, Obama is "Change you can Believe In!" because he's giving a speech every week. And it's not like anything in the speech ever changes.
Really, he has worn the bully pulpit down to a toothpick, and the poles that hold the aforementioned TOTUS. If ANY other POTUS gave as many speeches as Obama, he would have gotten every damned bit of his legislation through. We'd already see the taxes for government health care that would start in 2013. We'd see wind generators across the land, solar panels on our hats, and the sea levels dropping because we signed our souls away to the UN in Copenhagen. Hell, Algore would have become our first Secretary of the environment or something. Or at least a Czar.
Hail, Czar! (get it?) - How many are there now? I lost count months ago.
I want to GITMO - And now, the administration that brought you "Change you can Believe In!" now brings you "Bush was right, but we don't want to really admit it. Plans to close Guantanamo Bay have been moving slower than expected (as he promised he'd have it closed by now). We're still in Iraq. The numbers keep changing on Afghanistan. And the peacenik base is pissed.
I mean really pissed. If Obama makes it to a second term, the Code Pinkos will have signs of him decrying hi as a war criminal.
"Created or Saved" - Other than doing nothing but throwing lots of money at the problem, nothing much happening here. And the whole "jobs created or saved" thing is a punchline.
SOTU Predictions - Created or saved millions of jobs. Reversed the last 8 years. Recession ending. Reversed the last 8 years. Cutting spending/balancing budget. Reversed the last 8 years. Pass health care reform this year. Reversed the last 8 years. First steps toward a green economy. Reversed the last 8 years. Planet is being saved. Reversed the last 8 years. Gained international respect by reversing the last 8 years.
None of this will actually happen, but he'll be all flowery and shit saying it. If anybody can stay awake. I'll manage somehow.
Okay, I'm done. Looking back, I thought it would be funnier. Now I'm depressed.
Finally, for all you trolls that like to just drop in and tear Barry a new one no matter the topic, this post is for you, because it's all about tearing him a new one. Have at him.