First of all, I want to thank everyone who weighed in with a nomination, especially those entertaining enough to deserve inclusion in the pool of nominees. So let's get right to it and get to the nominees that are guilty of asshattery, but don't get mocked with the AOTY award itself, like last year's useless POS, John "Assface" McCain:
President Barack Hussein Obama - Nominated by me - I'll admit this one's an obvious. Since his
FORMER Governor Sarah Palin - Nominated by Satyavati - Another obvious one, as is, in some quarters, as mindlessly adored as dear leader Barry himself. She got on my AOTW radar for her cut-and-run strategy in Alaska, which preceded her book and pre-presidential-campaign tour. In addition to that, and to all the nomination comments, when the American public has problems differnetiating between you and Tina Fey a year after the SNL skit, serious image reinvention is required.
Our runner up is Governor Mark Sanford - Nominated by Z-man - With politicians comes fucking around. It's sad but natural that politicians wander into piles of wet panties the moment they hit the Hill (or the White House or the Governor's mansion, or any position of political power. I could probably list an assload of horny politicians, poking everything from high profile hotties, to horny hookers, to men's room mates, to man-ingesting interns. But usually, it's about having a taste of the strange while the old lady is off taking care of something (or maybe someone) else, and it's usually because they work with them before they work them over. Not so with Mark Sanford. He fell in loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove with his piece of ass. And he headed to South America in pursuit of this looooooooooooooooooooooooooooove. And then he tried to bullshit people where he was. Then he admitted that he looooooooooooooooooooooooooooved her. And finally, he lost Jenny Sanford, who I will graciously invite to come up and meet me, because she is a (soon to be ex-) politician's wife you can respect for booting the bastard. Finally, Mark, love is Evil, you will be consumed and destroyed, your soul torn in two, you will die by this plague brought by pussy. You came close to AOTY for this one.
And now a few quick mentions for those who didn't make the cut, but I could make it funny (lest this post become ponderous):
Beth (nominated by Satyavati) for the sagelike quote: I am not saying this to be funny but there is no such thing as extremist conservatives.... They's crazy mothafuckas all up on both sides of the debate. Even if you agree with them sometimes.
Glenn Beck because his acolytes have no sense of humor concerning him whatsoever and because he's nucking futs. Plus, I just want to hear the reaction.
Satyavati for her blind faith in government not to fuck up health care like they did Social Insecurity and Mediscare (and to avoid hearing it from Beth). And Shaw because she wants to be included with Satyavati. And Tao, because it's Tao. And because I like dropping names.
Al Franken and Barney Frank because they're, respectively, Stuart Smalley and a living, slobbery gay joke.
Tiger Woods because I like piling on sometimes. And because this mess will continue long into 2010.
Joe Lieberman doesn't, because he's at least more honest about his non-party status than his last choice of a president (Assface McCain). But mention for those that are complaining about the INDEPENDENT senator, who was dumped by his party and then beat both the Democrat and Republican candidates. Maybe you Dems who are bitching should have tried harder last year. I feel your pain, although your pains in your ass have the decency to leave the party.
The 111th Congress almost got it for failing to get anything done other than spending money out the ass. However, for
Anyone who doesn't see the point in a relatively light post (the whole AOTY thing) before descending back into the madness of 2010. After all, if we can't take a couple of weeks and laugh at the asshattery of the political scene, there's be a lot more snipers popping political pukes. Okay, maybe that's not so bad.
Truth 101 DOES NOT GET a nomination, and barely a mention, despite his statement that: I haven't said anything stupid this year. Hell. I don't think Ive said anything stupid since I started blogging. I really don't want to reward his attempts to be AOTW. Maybe next year I'll be desperate enough.
Which brings us to the "winner" and 2009 Asshat of the Year:
Representative Alan Grayson!!!!!
This pair of clown shoes makes Barney Frank look articulate, Stuart Smalley look like a statesman, Glenn Beck look sane, and Sarah Palin look like the intellectual master of all things political.
It started when Florida's most delusional representative kicked up the rhetoric to that level of partisanship that we usually only see during presidential campaigns, claiming Republicans have two parts to their health care reform: Don't get sick, and If you get sick, die quickly. I think I gave Mr Spam-in-a-can AOTW for that one. Since then, he's led the charge on the Left for idiotic blather in Congress. And given that Washington is known for idiotic blather, he's an exceptional one.
Liberals love him because he's a politician firing off like they wish liberal talk radio could have (having listeners and on the public dole). Conservative despise him because he's more consistently full of shit than most liberals. And polarizing politicians are always great at racking up AOTW status (because you get polarizing by being ridiculous).
But why did he get the Asshat of the Year (besides by being one of the biggest asshats in Washington)? Simple. In the process of getting his ass out of office, some Republicans in Florida launched a site called
Mycongressmanisnuts.com, a parody of Grayson's site Congressmanwithguts.com. However, Grayson is trying to have them prosecuted on a technicality! As the founder of and spokesperson for the site does not live in Grayson's district and is not directly represented by Grayson and the site's name includes the word "my" he sees this as a reason to try to have them prosecuted and shut down. [read the actual bullshit complaint here]
What a fucking baby! This is the kind of pansy shit Nixon would have pulled at his worst. It's pretty bad when you can't respond intelligently to your critics. It's really bad when you need to puss out and turn the law on them. As much as the the imp-GOP-tent minority as tried to derail the Democrat agenda and talk radio has fired, they haven't resorted to trying to shut down debate. And even most of the rest of the Democrat Congress has just hid and talked to NBC propaganda (I mean "news"). Hell, even Obama at least had an excuse (it starts with a B) but would at least get in the political fight.
In the end, Alan Grayson's blather is just average polarizing asshattery. But proving you have no spine (or dick) by going after the local opposing party's effort to unseat you with stupid attempts to use the law to rape free speech is what earns you the derision of ultimate asshattery.
So this is it until 2010. And unlike last year, when I started the awards, I want AOTY Grayson to stay around. Because he is the progressive agenda unmasked (and on the crazy pills). And in the midterm year, it's guaranteed campaign commercial gold. Red meat in the House is always gold for the other side.
The only thing that would be better is if he went to work writing speeches for Joe Biden. Damn, that would be funny.
But that's a subject for next year.
37 comments:
Ass-Hats?
We have plenty of them right here to be found on the comments below.
Starting with the one called Satyavati devi dasi (whatever the hell that means) to the one called Shaw Kenawe and the one called Tao as well as the foolish one that calls himself. Trouh101.
Last weekend while you were cooking and shopping and wrapping presents, and preparing for the holidays with your family, Harry Reid’s Senate was making shady backroom deals to ram through the Democrat health care take-over. The Senate ended debate on this bill without even reading it. That and midnight weekend votes seem to be standard operating procedures in D.C. No one is certain of what’s in the bill, but Senator Jim DeMint spotted one shocking revelation regarding the section in the bill describing the Independent Medicare Advisory Board (now called the Independent Payment Advisory Board), which is a panel of bureaucrats charged with cutting health care costs on the backs of patients – also known as rationing. Apparently Reid and friends have changed the rules of the Senate so that the section of the bill dealing with this board can’t be repealed or amended without a 2/3 supermajority vote.
It’s good to know some things never change. Jihadists are still trying to carry out terrorist attacks against innocent civilians while the U.S. Senate pontificates during hearings. And Barack Obama still take his cheap (but expensive) Photo -Op’s strutting along the Beaches of Hawaii.
And yet, the silence from Obama is deafening. The silence of Barack Obama concerning the Iranian uprising is shameless and unfortunate for lack of a better term. German Chancellor Angela Merkel along with other world leaders have condemned the violent crackdown by government forces in Iran, And why did it take almost FOUR days before the Great One spoke to our nation about this recent TERRORIST attack in the air? Oh I’m sorry Our Dear Leader asked us not to use the word TERRORIST! But still Barack Obama remains silent, on his “news free” vacation.
"TEXAS FOR SARAH PALIN"
Hmmm....Texas, the state that gave us George Bush....that pretty much tells me everything I need to know about the troll that hides under this title...
I would like to add that I consider it an honor to be considered for AOTY....
So, where are the induction ceremonies being held? Will they be televised?
"Texas for Sarah Palin" looks like one of the trolls who came to my blog this morning to defend her. And how did they do this?
They cut and paste talking points and whole paragraphs taken from other blogs--including "Texas for Sarah Palin," and pass them off as their own. One such cheat is Conservative Girl With A Voice, who copied and pasted a long screed that was written by other and that she signed her name to. CGwaV's blog, proudly proclaims that she has a degree in English and Journalism. Ha!
Nice journalism, there, CGwaV.
What more do we need to know about the people who so ardently support Palin, other than they are willing to, no proud to, cheat, lie, and deceive in order to defend her.
I nominate the person commenting under the title "Texas for Sarah Palin" as Ass-Hat of the Week.
Tex: Did you ever consider you might be a humorless bastard that only finds fulfillment by starting shit with commenters that haven't even commented yet?
Seriously, if you can't address the post (except for the first word), then you're really not saying shit.
Tao: I wasn't really considering you, but since I had to include Satyavati, and Shaw needs that little boost, I didn't want you to feel all left out. Besides, I'm sure I'll find a week in 2010 for you.
Shaw: I'll look into it.
Spidey: Do you need a hug?
the one called Satyavati devi dasi (whatever the hell that means)
Satyavati devi dasi means: the servant of the Goddess Who is the abode of truth.
It's Sanskrit, a very ancient, sacred, and pure language, considered by philologists to be the most pure of all languages and very likely the source of all languages.
Since you were wondering.
______________________
And thanks, Patrick :*
PS. Since I'm relatively sure that you don't know the correct usage of the word, 'cretin', and 'cretinism', are medical diagnoses.
Just for your general edification.
Satyavati devi dasi said...
the one called Satyavati devi dasi (whatever the hell that means)
Satyavati devi dasi means: the servant of the Goddess Who is the abode of truth.
Like I give a crap!
And The term cretin describes a person who is very affected/full of himself... Like Obama is..
Around here we aim to please... you didn't know what my name meant.. now you do.
As far as the word 'cretin', the actual, non-slang, non-abusive definitions of the word is:
cretin cre·tin (krēt'n)
n.
A person afflicted with cretinism.
cre'tin·oid' (-oid') adj.
cre'tin·ous (-əs) adj.
Cretinism is a condition of severely stunted physical and mental growth due to untreated congenital deficiency of thyroid hormones (congenital hypothyroidism) due to maternal nutritional deficiency of iodine.
At Patrick's, you learn something whether you want to or not.
Have yourself just a fab day.
Satyavati devi dasi ..It seems like being a idiot comes easy to you.
Thank you Libertyship46 for calling a Spade a Spade.
Obama's administration should be the ass hats of the decade.
And what does it mean when Napolitano says “the system worked” when it most definitely did not, and when Obama cannot interrupt his golf game to make his own statement for almost 4 days?
“The system worked” yeah right. Thank God Jasper the Dutchman was on board. But what if Jasper can’t be on every flight?
All I can say is OBAMA, Stop destroying our country.
And to the author of this blog.
NO, Beth or anyone else here is NOT the ASS-HAT of the *whatever* OBAMA and his cronies are.
Cutiepies World said...
Satyavati devi dasi ..It seems like being a idiot comes easy to you.
Thank you Libertyship46 for calling a Spade a Spade.
Saty,
When all you get are wimpy, juvenile name-calling from rinsers like Cutiepies World, and no cogent argument, you know you've scored big.
Best to you in the New Year, Saty.
And Patrick, it appears you've attracted some real Angry
Davens here.
LOL!
Shaw Kenawe, YOU are Unbelievable. I have just read your assinie name calling blog where you have been ranting and raving about all the stupid people, idiots and morons and whatever else you call Republicans for Sarah Palin to Rush Linbaugh, Glenn Beck and especially George Bush as well as almost EVERY Conservative (other than a handful of tokens) that comment on your hideous blog. And you have the GAUL to post this ridiculous comment about Me. You make that idiot Satyavati devi dasi look like a Saint. But that’s another story. This is ALL about YOU and you’re holier than thou tone.
Like many others I tend to keep myself to myself – I go to my work, do what is necessary and come home to a good man who looks after me very well and keeps me on the straight and narrow. I consider myself to be an easy enough person to get along with and very rarely do I indulge in the shenanigans found on these boards. I don’t profess to be a scholar or indeed an authority on any of the issues that affect each and everyone of us as we go about our private and public avocations on a daily basis, like every one else however, I do have an opinion.
But when I see an injustice like I did here to a nice person like Beth, I must do what I must do, and that’s to call it like I see it. And I call you a “holier than thou” brainwashed Idiot. Who can dish it out but who can NOT take it.
Patrick’s STUPID nomination (or his agreeing to) of one of his most sensible posters “Beth” as an “Ass-Hat” is completely insensitive. When he wrote the following it was a cruel thing to do and he should be asamed of himself and apologize to her immediately as you should.
“Beth (nominated by Satyavati) for the sagelike quote: I am not saying this to be funny but there is no such thing as extremist conservatives.... They's crazy mothafuckas all up on both sides of the debate. Even if you agree with them sometimes.”
As for Satyavati, I won’t even bother to address that JERK. And I shouldn’t even have bother with YOU either.
I find you all to be a a bunch of two-faced anti-American morons, the whole bloody lot of you.
The hatred that I have witnessed on this site is worse that a KKK documentary, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ENLIGHTENED and tolerant of everyone?, I was looking for different views on issues, not 1 statement of hatred after another. No wonder the Democrat Party is losing ground nationwide. This is sick. There is so much anger and hate on the liberal blogs by the commenters HERE that I was shocked to read them. . Until you bed wetting lefties get a real message and stop acting like a bunch of spoiled kids you are doomed to lose election after election. The vast majority of Americans don't want to hear the constant hatred that you and your ilk spew. Although I guess it is a good thing that you on the left are so stupid to make the same mistake over and over because WE on the RIGHT continue to WIN. I can't believe the utter hatred you have for people that want to keep our country the way our founding fathers sought in our constitution AND DIED for us to be free. I guess freedom to you is "do want ever you want" unless it disagrees with our philosophy. Please do us a favor and keep your sniveling contrives to yourself. If you have a following that agrees with what you spout, then it's either God bless us or, thank God, you all are going to self destruct from your hatred. Liberals always talk about tolerance. Shaw’s website is seething with hatred. It is one thing to debate, but it is another to go as far as you have. My God, what is it you want? Do you really want to take Liberalism to the extreme and bring in Socialism? Why do you say that you hate Bush, Palin etc?
I thought liberals were suppose to be enlightened and compassionate ? You attack people and degrade them because they have a difference of opinion from your own? I have a lot of liberal friends and relatives, and they hardly ever agree with me, but they do not resort to name-calling and insults. Why can't you use the English language to express yourself and draw on opposing views to counter the household-name-conservatives that you have set out to talk trash about? You must represent the fringe, because I have met a lot of liberals in my time, and none have been as nasty I you seem to be. In fact, we may joke around about each other's point of view, but we always treat one another with respect...like intelligent human beings should.
TAO, you are no doubt the ASS-HOLE of the year.
Patrick,
You've got some very unhappy trolls who seem to be in ira extremis.
I believe they need more than a hug.
*wink wink nudge nudge*
SHAW YOU ARE AN IDIOT, GO BACK TO YOUR KNEES IN FRONT OF OBAMA
THAT'S ALL YOU ARE GOOD FOR.
I've red you blog and for what it's worth, you and the rest of your Obama defending friends are nuts. The whole Obama agenda is a train wreck. We gave the keys to the kingdom to a communist child in a mans clothing.. The White House has been transformed into a sports / party complex.
Really far more things are important than golf , basketball , TV watching and partying.
I expect to see Tiger Woods having a beer there next week.
The black repug chick goes on and on about the right winning elections...would that be 2006 election? Or the 2008 election?
Oh and I am honored to be considered for Asshole of the year...
Anything that puts distance between me and the rest of the ranting rightwing reich is fine with me....
Shaw:
Go on to Cutiepies and check out the pic.
Then reread everything she wrote and try to take it seriously.
I dare you. Try to take it seriously. I bet you $5 you can't keep from cracking up.
Saty,
I owe you $5 to the charity of your choice.
I couldn't get past the Pepto-Bismal Pink on CutiePie's blog.
LOL!
Have a good time while your dear leader gets us all killed.
My New Years wish is that people would end their blind support to political parties and really LOOK at what our representatives are doing to Washington, and speak up against the corruption. I wish the MSM would do the same. We could start with our President and his henchmen and work our way down to Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi.
And for Patrick to learn another word other and the "F" word.
"And you have the GAUL to post this ridiculous comment about Me.."
CutiePie is a teacher..hope she does't have the GALL to teach English...
Happy New Years Patrick...and I find your use of the "F" word to be creative!
I do hope that you win the lottery, marry Ms. America and be happy ever after in 2010...
TAO said...
Happy New Years Patrick...and I find your use of the "F" word to be creative!
We knew that YOU would.
The liberals keep telling us that, thanks to Obama’s policy of speaking endlessly and carrying a very small stick, America has gained renewed respect around the world.
The liberals preferred position is fetal; cowardice is all they've known their entire lives.
If I may rant……..
Nations that drove their countries into ruin from the despotic rule of communism have over the decades adopted more and more capitalism, which has allowed their nations to prosper and thus creating a burgeoning middle class, the bedrock of any stable society. Capitalism has benefited humanity more than any other system, which even communists could no longer ignore, yet here in America silver spoon liberal ingrates in their BMWs are squealing against capitalism and yammering for decrepit socialism [frankly they want communism based on their anti business rhetoric].
These caviar communists are always bleating about the “working man” and demonizing the “greedy capitalists”, the same "greedy capitalists" that pay their undeserved exorbitant salaries. They decry profits yet refuse to work for less than x amount of millions for simply reciting lines in front of a camera. These overpaid leftwing Hollywood ingrates should all be paid the same as the grips and catering staff. We all know they’re shameless hypocrites; if I could I wouldn’t allow them to live the capitalist life they deride. I’d make them live in the woods and hunt for their own food. They’d be allowed nothing made by a corporation. Basically they’d be walking around in loin cloths and tie-dyed sweaters sewn by hippies.
Damn, I should have been paying attention to my comment section....
First of all, if your post magically disappeared it's because you're a spamming troll, with no ability to actually contribute one way or another to the conversation in any intelligent capacity, and I value intelligence if you're going to defend your position.
To address something BRW brought up: The hatred that I have witnessed on this site is worse that a KKK documentary, I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE ENLIGHTENED and tolerant of everyone?
Strangely, the only hatred in this post or comments appears to becoming from the lockstep right (as opposed to conservatives), focusing on one line about Beth to the exclusion of people I rip a whole lot harder (like Obama, Barney Frank, Stuart Smalley, and the ASSHAT OF THE YEAR HIMSELF!).
Are you guys even listening to yourselves? You're taking a lighthearted post and going apeshit over it. And not even the whole thing, just one paragraph! And for some reason, you take the 95% that you probably agree with me on and forget that in an ass-induced attempt to spew off about some perceived "attack" or some shit. Obviously, you've not been reading the AOTW posts, which are not patently political, but more about mocking people for being what they are. And we're all asshats at some point in our lives. Just as we're all idiots.
Go on, look through the nominations and see if I'm being serious all the time or actually being humorous with a little point in what I write.
It's in understanding the difference between fighting insane, destructive and socialist policies and just spewing mindless invectives that utterly lack thought (but show the ease of use that the commands copy and paste have) that we can win the hearts and minds of people. Otherwise, we sound like asshats.
(And that gives me an idea for AOTW.)
And if you want to explore my fondness for the F-word, try this enlighening video(Set to some Vivaldi).
See, I can get through a whole comment without having to fucking say fuck. Wait... Oh fuck.
I wonder if all those shitheads posting their hateful bile at Shaw and Saty are the same shithead.
I concede Patrick's superior computer skills and trust his ability to deal with this moron(s?).
May God bless you and a happy new year to you and your kids Patrick. The pain of not being named your AOTY is tempered by your wrongheaded choice of the outstanding Congressman and champion of truth and those without health insurance, Alan Grayson.
I knew you'd pick a real American hero for no other reason than you thought it would piss me off. And don't bother denying that either. That just proves I'm right.
TRUTH 101 said...
I wonder if all those shitheads posting their hateful bile at Shaw and Saty are the same shithead.
You forgot to mention YOURSELF!
TAO, SHAW, SATY, TRUTH101, and their Dear Followers..
I have a message for you all.
http://flamingchorizo.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/fuck-you.jpg
Question for Satyavati .. How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
Answer... Dress her up as a goat.
Patrick - just to clarify, Joe LIEberman was a Democrat until he lost the primary and then he was listed as an "Independent Democrat" and caucused with Democrats until his infamous speech at the Republican convention.
So, I still think he made a viable candidate for AOTY.
Infidel...
Everyone knows your momma...
Infidel: Thanks for the pic. It will come in handy Monday. Although you probably won't like it.
As for the rest of you, this is degenerating into a mindless namecalling exchange rather than anything humorous. And insults are only good if they're funny. Thus, comments are now closed.
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