Barry O's 100 Day Suck-stravaganza (in Sterophonic 4-D and Puke-O-Vision)

Early on I was impudently chastised for not giving President Obama a chance, as he hasn't been in office a hundred days yet.

Well, it's now been officially a hundred days, and the POTUS will be marking the day with (what else?) a prime-time address. But before he gets to his blather, I get to blather (the reason blogging is...).

So let's get the top ten highlights (because 100 of them is too big a post for me to write), good, bad, and fugly. This is in no particular order and may be both good and bad, with my accompanying posts:

1. The Immaculate Inauguration - It was a cold but happy day that January 20th. There was pomp, circumstance, some great music performed in the Milli Vanilli mode, and an adoring crowd moved by what was a historic day. Then Obama began reading his speech (from the just-inaugurated TOTUS) and it went to hell for anyone remotely conservative listening. But out of that came a big mess in front of the Capitol, which required stimulus money to fix (definitely more on that later). Hell, the perpetual news machine spent hours on Aretha's hat. Thus it's noted.

2. Tale of the TOTUS - Since before the election, Obama's reliance on the teleprompter to give a good speech (without 3 uh's per word) has been the stuff of legends. It has been so much so that the TOTUS even joined us here in the glorious embrace of Blogger: baracksteleprompter.blogspot.com. Now I know this isn't that big of an deal. And I know that all presidents in my life have been fed by the 'prompter. But this is one that won't go away until the President stops making those TOTUS-related gaffes (2013 at the earliest). No, this is going to be with us like Bushisms and Clinton blow job jokes. So (on the Clinton note) suck it up if you don't like it because it'll always be there (like luggage (or herpes)).

3. Taunting the Taxman (music by the Beatles) -

Personally, I've lost count of the number of nominees with tax issues that got bumped or nominated. I only know three things. First, when your Treasury secretary has tax problems, it does something to public confidence. Second, damn, that vetting process sucks. And three, maybe I can get a job, although I don't have the bad taxes (just the credit cards and student loans (Woo Hoo!!! I'm set!!!)).

On a related note, there's that lobbyist-free administration he promised. HA!

4. Missiles, Missiles Everywhere - One thing I've learned from fatherhood is that kids will take an idle threat and call your ass on it pronto (which is why the number three often promptly coincides with an ass whipping). In this sense, Kim Jong Il is a demonic bastard child (apologies to the children of Satan). And he (and all the other halfwit dictators out there) are looking for any way to exercise their power. And when the Obama administration said "Don't do it or else," he did it. The "or else" response? "That was bad, we're going to tell nanny UN to tell you you were bad." By the way, that finger raised high at us is not Kimmy's new salute.

5. Red Meat for Moonbats - GITMO's being closed, we're funding embryonic stem cells, etc. I'd get worked up over this, but it's what the people who really worked for him wanted, and he won the damned election. Credit where credit is due here for at least doing some of the things he said he would, whether you agree or disagree.

6. Pounding the Bush (double entendre intended) - Polarization is the mother's milk of politics. If you continually kick someone in the back when they're down, then they're bound to cough up blood eventually. And you can then characterize them as a willing bleeder. And while you expect that in the campaign, it's pretty ridiculous to spend almost every day of your first 100 doing just that. Whether it's the economy, the infrastructure, taxes, the war on terror, or the thermostat presets in the Oval Orifice, I've heard the last 8 years referenced in some way, shape or form in every speech the TOTUS gave the POTUS. Hell, he even ad-libbed it w with fewer um's than usual.

7. Distractions, Distractions Everywhere - Some of the notables in this category (other than Bush):
The exchange with Rush Limbaugh (which mostly benefitted Rush Limbaugh).
AIG bonuses (which of course Geithner knew all about).
The swine flu panic (which of course means he needs a tax-cheating Surgeon General).
Buzzing NYC with Air Force One (Can you say egg on face?).
If a good crisis is too much to waste, a distraction is even better.

8. Tuesdays with Hugo - Obama has been around the world as President. And the gaffe-a-thon continues. Bowing to the king of Saudi Arabia. Michelle Obama's breach of protocol with the Queen of England (who thankfully didn't make an issue of it). And the book exchange with Hugo Chavez. Not to mention sitting and listening to Daniel Ortega rip the US of A a new asshole with that vacant expression because he doesn't have his super-secure Blackberry (aka Porta-TOTUS) yet. Maybe the world will like us better this way.

9. Getting Out of Debt With MORE Debt - It is officially called the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act. I have, as unofficially as possible, named it the Bullshit! Package after my favorite exclamation on hearing most of the details of this uber-mega-hella-super-turbo-extreme monstrosity. Now for clarification, it's not 100% evil (as I know at least one fellow blogger who directly benefited from a program that keeps health care between jobs affordable), but like most lesser omnibus-style bills (and they're all lesser in dollar amounts) it's a mix of good, bad, ugly, and patently ridiculous all jumbled together so that no one can possibly know all the crap that our elected "representatives" have crammed in there. .

10. Gone in 60 Votes - With the "defection" of Arlen Specter to the Democrats, Obama now has 59 Democrat votes in the Senate (plus the RINOs Snowe and Collins). It would have been a cruel capstone to have 60, but since it's only a matter of time before Stuart Smalley steals the election in Minnesota, for all intents and purposes Obama and the Democrats will have and will bear 100% of the responsibility for what happens over the next two years. While that may be a bad thing, it's also the opportunity for conservatism to get fired up (think Jimmy Carter). The success and the nature of the tea parties indicate that the natural conservative tendencies of the majority of Americans (who will be conservative by nature no matter how they vote) are awakening again. Now if the GOP can cure their case of headupass syndrome and stop fielding a parade of moronic McCain moderates, This development could be the best thing that happened in these 100 days.

Okay, now on to the speech that the POTUS and TOTUS are hashing out as I write this (8pm on all the news networks and the ancient broadcast networks (except Fox)....