Sunday, December 21, 2008

New Feature and Asshat of the Year

I have a nice prime spot now on the blog occupied by the Christmas music playlist. But come next week, I'm going to toss that aside (although future playlists (non-automatic) will be forthcoming) and give all of you a new feature, which I may even change based on your opinions. On Saturday or Sunday after Christmas, I'll be putting up my first Asshat of the Week!

Now the simple rationale for Asshat of the week will be simple. Say or do something stupid and I'll mock you intensely for it. Kind of like my mocking of Barney Frank last week, except with less fire and more humor. And I'm simply going to go with the person that most deserves it.

But to start this all off, I'm going to declare my 2008 ASSHAT OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!

John "Assface" McCain, the Default Loser of the GOP!

Yeah, this one was pretty easy, edging out eve OJ, because OJ will be in Jail and McCain will still be the hemorrhoid on the ass of the GOP: Hard to get rid of and itchy as hell.

What earns him the non-coveted title of Asshat of the year was his drizzling shit campaign, losing to the relatively rank amateur that is President-elect Obama. McCain has been regularly reaching across the aisle and kicking the Republicans in their nuts for many years now. And just becasue all the (relatively) conservative candidates and Huck-a-duck ate each other up in the primaries, the GOP got saddled with a Democrat with an R behind his name. Other than some weak-assed lip service, his only move to "embrace" conservatism was the selection of Sarah Palin as his VP running mate. Of course, her sweet ass has already been tossed under the Straight Talk Express, and he's joined with Colin Powell to see how far they can run the GOP into the ground. Holy piss in a Coke bottle people, why the hell are we even talking about this walking asshat anymore?

I'm done now. I'm so done that I'm actually contemplating banning McCain from future SPD posts. Just because his dumb ass is not worth listening to anymore. Although I'm sure I'll see him blathering from the Asshat of the Week in the future.

So in the end, to call anyone other than this RINO an asshat would not be change, it would be more of the same.And if the GOP doesn't learn this, then I'm going to probably declare the GOP, collectively, Asshat of the Year when they throw the next election.

11 comments:

Shaw Kenawe said...

Ah, c'mon. You're being too hard on the old man. You forget that he sacrificed for his country. That accounts for something.

You've got to come to terms with the fact that no one politician is going to pass your purity test.

Unless, of course, you run for office yourself.

We are flawed and, therefore, so are the people we chose to represent us.

Learn to accept and live with that, and you life will be more peaceful.

Patrick M said...

Shaw: First, there's a difference between a purity test and expectation of some conservatism. It was the post-election tossing of Sarah under the bus. This just remarks the return of the "maverick" that's been pissing us off for a decade now.

There are many politicians who pass the acceptability test. McCain is not one of them.

That's why he deserves the Asshat of the Year award, not the Lifetime Asschievement award. The lifetime (were I awarding it, would go to someone on whom I wish suffering and pain on for the rest of his unnatural life. That would be OJ.

I just want to see McCain leave politics or change the letter at the end of his name.

And I am looking at running for office in the future. I'm just not sure how, with the younglings, I'd be able to pull it off.

Because I know I would be perfect.

BTW, peace sucks; I live for some good ol' conflict. Puts the flip in my dinger. :)

Beth said...

I would donate to your campaign, Patrick, if for no other reason than the debates would be a hoot with you in them!

Robert said...

Awesome selection of Christmas Music....haven't heard the RUN DMC song in a long time! Nice work! And you can't go wrong with TSO...

Arthurstone said...

Asshat of the 21st Century (at least the 1st decade-we must provide for a possible Jeb term)

GWB.

With the 'brains' of the operation, 5 deferment/turned warrior Dick Cheney a very close second.

Patrick M said...

Arthur: Let it go, man. Bush will be gone in a month, with a mixed record. Got to get past it and get ready for the sweet and glorious days of your glorious messiah, Barack Obama. Asshat award for him to follow at some point.

But to console you, he has at least a few weeks to get "Asshat of the Week" before he retires from the public eye. And he is in the running for the first award.

Name: Soapboxgod said...

"Ah, c'mon. You're being too hard on the old man. You forget that he sacrificed for his country."

Don't fool yourself into thinking such a noble cause. I mean afterall, the Nazi's sacrificed for their country and certainly the Japanese and Red Soviets did too.

So I implore you to consider what good is fighting for a country that enslaves its people and subjects them to a life of poverty and despair?

There isn't any.

And so, that we would laud the sacrificial efforts of a one John McCain; a man who only then stripped away little by little the very foundational principles of this country is ridiculous.

What is more, if even his "sacrifice" were virtuous, it is again ridiculous to promote his effort as a sacrifice.

A sacrifice is to give up something of a greater value for something of a lesser value. Exchanging a penny for a dollar is not a sacrifice. Conversely, exchaning a dollar for a penny is.

If a man joins the military, accepting the reality that he may die, he has not made a sacrifice if he deems the protection of freedom and liberty as a greater virtue than his life. For he likely knows that without his very freedom and liberty his life is nothing.

If however a man joins the military to fight for a country and its ideals which he then loathes, then has he sacrificed his own being (i.e., a greater virtue) for something of a lesser value or virtue.

Arthurstone said...

Heh. Heh. Speaking of 'letting it go man' the idea Sarah Palin is in any way remotely viable as a national 'leader' is absurd and any allegedly 'thoughtful' person who would try and peddle such an idea...

Patrick M said...

Soapster: Semantics aside, I assume you take nothing away from McCain's wartime service, as it was honorable.

My issues will never be with McCain's military record. My issues are with his asshat politics in general, and the farce of his nomination as a "conservative" leader (thus the award).

Arthur: We'll see if she's ready in 3 years. If not, I'll be quick to let her have it. On the plus side, she won't be carrying water for McCain, so we might get to see if she's really as smart as I suspect (and you seriously doubt) that she is.

But my contention is with McCain: his words, his actions, his record. He apparently thought she would be a good VP (which I'm not going to argue as it's irrelevant to the discussion), or she would at least attract the base (which she did), then after he lost, he tossed her under the bus (probably because she was conservative). This speaks to McCain's attempt to make Democrats out of the GOP base. Thus the award.

TAO said...

Ah, Patrick....

Nothing like a non traditional conservative to bring joy to my heart...

So, McCain's war record didn't matter for much....

Now the social conservatives have a problem because Pat Robertson just gave GWB a C- and he thinks Obama is doing great!

How about that Mom of Sarah Palins son-in-law....

Whew! They sure are a wild free bunch up there in Alaska...

Throw in some lava lamps and a couple of black light posters and Sarah could get my vote next election....

Patrick M said...

Tao: So, McCain's war record didn't matter for much....

After all the shit he's pulled over the last decade? Not when it comes to picking a candidate. I'm looking for principle and consistency.

And Pat Robertson's so 1980s.

As for Alaska, if it was cold on the warm days and the average day will make your nipples hard, wouldn't you get just a little loopy? Couldn't be worse than the current Washington crop, though.