So here's my schedule. I wrapped presents on Friday night (as I was off), vegged Saturday night after work, finished cleaning Sunday night after work, started the cookie dough prep. Monday was baking cookies until work, then baking more cookies into the wee hours (and I'm out of vanilla extract). Plus, I missed Intervention at 9 and they reran it at 1AM. Add to that I always consume an adult beverage when viewing the show (usually at wine o'clock), and I woke up with that splitting headache I can get from one damned drink!!!!!!!!! Between non-functioning and a few errands to run, I have yet to ice my sugar cookies as I got to work. And somehow (because I started it earlier) I managed to get this post out.
I need to get to bed earlier, but I've still got those cookies. My presents are all wrapped (as the last two were on my doorstep when I got home). The childrenkids get to open gifts on Christmas Eve morning (another reason I'm posting this today) for reasons that will be made clear in the next sentences. The kids will be going with their mother Christmas Eve so my babysitter can go see her family (a 7-hour drive one way) and that means a noon pickup. I work until 7:30, then get everybody home and bedded (that would be an hour from the time they get home to the time I start bedding). Christmas Day we pack up and go to my family's for the feast (blood-assed red delicious prime fucking rib, kiddies!!!) and presents. Then I run the kids to their mother by 2pm for Christmas with her. And then I work the last shift of the day (6-10pm), collect the kids, go home, and prepare for the post-Christmas loot/ornament buy (before I go to work) on Friday. So it will be a busy little week. Then I get Saturday off.
I've been watching a lot of Christmas stuff over the last few weeks, and it occurred to me that with our modern schedule, way too many people open Christmas gifts on days other than Christmas day. And thanks to the archaic view laid down in "A visit from St Nicholas" (Twas the night before Christmas..., etc for those of you who can't Google), parents are forced to sculpt more elaborate bullshit every year to cover the gaffes and inconsistencies. And being that I have younglings, and I want them to enjoy some Santa-rific fun, I must use every tool at my disposal, like having the kids log on and watch NORAD tracking Santa.
So to add to the whole mythology (and clarify what the bs story will be as they ask the penetrating questions), I'll introduce the EEDS (Early Elf Delivery Service). Feel free to pass it along:
Due to the rising frequency of off day present Opening, Santa commissioned the Early Elf Delivery Service (EEDS). Prior to this, he had been forced to use standard channels (FedEx, UPS, global postal services) to get gifts out early, and still uses them in limited circumstances.Okay, now, on tho the next thing: iLLWiLL Press has a Christmas flash cartoon extravaganza. All three are good, but here's the crappy YouTube version of the best one of all:
The need for the EEDS is due to the fact that Santa's magic is limited until Christmas Eve arrives, and he is unable to travel the world until then (has something to do with stability of the space-time continuum). However, 8 teams of elves, specially trained and equipped with thier own magic, begin deliveries of presents that Santa has marked for early delivery up to a week before Christmas. The elves (capable of carrying up to 200 pounds of presents each trip) begin a 24-hour, 7-day marathon of visiting houses where the children will have to open their gifts early, stopping only to search for cookies in the houses they visit, and occasional naps (usually after a long tall hot chocolate with whipped marshmallows). Their marathon ends just in time for them to return to the North Pole to see Santa lift off for his yearly flight around the world.
And now, as I am off work and must pick up the younglings (and maybe let them open a present early (they already opened the foam swords)):