First of all, I will extend congratulations to President-Elect Barack Obama. Although this was a hard fought race, the decision of the American people has been made for better or for worse (more on that in a bit), and it would be low class to be a sore loser. And the electoral college vote looks to be enough that you might be able to claim something of a mandate. It is sad that this victory has a bittersweet element; that your grandmother, who raised you and saw you so close to this, was lost to you just a day prior. On that point, we all extend our conolences.
I also would be remiss if I did not mention that this country has come a long way, from the days of slavery, to days of segregation, to equality in the highest office in the land. There is something in that.
Also, the Democrats have gained much on this night, and they should look at why they won and use that. Although, it does appear that the filibuster-proof Senate is not going to happen. Thus there is at least one check on absolute power. On that, at least, there is hope
Fuck You GOP!
Now why am I being so harsh toward the Republican party? The reason I'm going to vent now is because the GOP has, over the last decade, slowly assumed all the roles of a big government, big spending, nanny state party. In other words, Democrats. You showed that with stupid shit like the dastardly bastardly bailout. You kept piling on the shit like the medicare drug program. You grew the government like crack-addled sea monkeys. And you picked the most liberal candidate you could, someone who pissed on conservatism regularly, and only threw us a bone(r) in the form of Sarah Palin when he realized we were ready to watch the party burn.
For that, you are now as out of power as in the Carter days. Enjoy the wilderness, motherfuckers. Then, when you're ready to be the beacon of hope for freedom, come talk to us conservatives and we'll show you the way.
Happy Christmas (Racism is Over)
For clarification, we will always have some racism, as we do with any -ism.
But now, as we have elected a black president, unless you have evidence, I am officially declaring systemic racism over in the United States of America. If you want to stand here and still scream racism, then I have only one thing to say: Fuck you, go get cancer in your ass and eat shitty hot wings until you blow an ass gasket. You're full of shit and living in the past. And it's time to fucking stop, you dickwits. How else are we going to learn to be colorblind unless you stop bringin it up every sentence you mindless race whores vomit forth?
So knock it off, love your fellow man, and be confident that your junk is bigger than mine (trust me, it's a family curse).
Conservatism In Exile (For Two More Years)
Now, I could do one of three things:
- I could be bitter, go the Michael Savage route, and just tear down the Democrats and Republicans who are selling out the country. Eventually, I'd end up in a cabin, polishing my shotgun until the government showed up to pry it from my cold dead fingers.
- I could cozy up to the government tit and start sucking. Eventually, to save space, the government could just vacuum pack my body in a bag and wire me to a supercomputer to power Obama's angelic glow.
- I could declare war on liberalism. This would be a war of words, of ideas, and of no compromise whatsoever until conservatism claims its rightful palce as the guiding philosophy of this country.
Got a guess yet?
Come on, I'm just waiting here until you guess. Besides, we've got over two months before the inaguration.
Yeah, war is on. President Obama, if you want to lead this country, you'd be wise to learn of the timeless principles that have made this country great rather than give a speech that uses the words that best symbolize those principles to justify equalizing people by government fiat.
You are soon to be our next president. It's time to show us if you've learned.