Thursday, July 24, 2008

Nomenclature for Election 2008

The advantage of being me is that I can spit out lines and phrases as fast as Rush Limbaugh. Unfortunately, I'm usually not near the computer, so he's first out of the gate as he's live every weekday and I usually publish around midnight. And sometimes have a delay for something more important.

But it doesn't matter who was first on some of these (although it was usually me). Here's a list of terms for use by anyone (even liberals) who want to accurately (more or less) reduce excessive verbiage into concise, acronym-laden blather.

DIRC - Democrat in Republican Clothes. Used to describe any member of the GOP who politically identifies with Ted Kennedy while paying lip service to Reagan. Led by the Governator and (of course) McCain.

Electile Dysfunction - The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2008 election year. Most Republicans and all conservatives suffer from it. Even the ladies.
(nod to Frank C for this donation in the mail bag)

MSM - Must-Slant Media. Formerly known as the mainstream media, they have abandoned all pretense of objectivity to walk in the footsteps of the Obamessiah.

WATB's - Whiny Ass Titty Babies. An apt description for McCain and his supporters over the shift in coverage. Back in the day, the "maverick" was a media darling. Now they give him a token reporter while the MSM goes on their pilgrimage. Doesn't apply to non-McCain supporters like me, because we all know I'm not a whiny ass tittiy baby.
(Nod to Shaw for this one)

BS - Barack Shit. Self-explanatory. Expelled between stutters.

The networks: The big three networks have adopted new identities this year after purging the Clintons from politics (until the next leap year):

ABC - America's Barack Channel
CBS - the Channel for Barack's Sainthood
NBC - the National Barack Channel

And NBC's subchannels:
MSNBC - Must Save Now Barack's Coconuts (Jesse Jackson has a lifetime ban)
CNBC - who really gives a shit? Are they even on the air?

As for Fox News, since the liberals will probably just come up with something lame, here you go: the Fucking Obama Xcessively News channel. Top that, bitches!

I can't think of anything appropriate for CNN (except for phrases using nuts (which says a whole lot about my sexuality)), so I guess it's going to be time for another contest. And I haven't decided the prize. Maybe I'll tattoo your blog site on my ass. Maybe not. Also, if you have any suggestions for other fun phrases and acronyms, join the fun.


Shaw Hussein Kenawe said...

I've always referred to CNN as the Chicken Noodle Network.

PS. Obama must be doing a lot right. He's got so many Goopers p.o.'d.

The worse thing for a candidate is is to have no attention paid to his candidacy.

(The other day one journalist and photographer showed up for McCain's landing in NH.)

Yep. Obama's getting lots and lots of press.

Thanks to John McCain.

Beth said...

A tatoo on your rear of my blog, tempting, will have to give this much thought and get back to you.

I suffer from the electile dysfunction, but I ain't going on TV commercials and saying so!

Beth said...

How about for CNN - Creates Nonsensical News

Patrick M said...

Shaw: I'm just waiting for McCain and Obama to mix it up in a debate. Or even better, a steel cage match. Athough watching their wives fight would be more interesting.

Beth: I wonder what the cure would be and Will McCain peddle it like Bob Dole did after his impotent campaign?

Both entries for CNN are interesting. But I still favor the old standby of the Communist News Network.

Obob said...

I had Serbian buddy who called CNN the Croatian News Network

Patrick M said...

I'm really shooting for something that conveys a message for election '08. My latest two were the generic Clusterfuck the Nation Network, and more Obama-centric but still somewhat generic Crown the Narcissist Network.

Mike's America said...

Whiny Ass Titty Babies?

Funny how I read the phrase before I read the description and the first thought in my head was Toadbat and Shaw...

Patrick M said...

Mike: Strangely, I got the phrase from Shaw. But it was funny enough.