Friday, November 9, 2007

Chronic Clinton Fatigue Syndrome

By now, there are many of you who are victims of Chronic Clinton Fatigue Syndrome (CCFS), a disease that is slowly becoming an epidemic in this country. Most of the sufferers are of a conservative worldview, although CCFS has begun to spread to liberals as well. It is not known how far-reaching the effects of CCFS will be, although it is a distinct possibility it could reach critical levels over the next eight years. The government should do everything in its power to show that it is aware of, and cares about, the many people suffering from CCFS.

Okay, now that I've had my fun at the expense of the Clintons lets get down to why there could possibly be something like CCFS. I've known people who are chronic liars. Their stories are constantly changing, and if you can look at everything they say, you can't possibly have respect for them in the end. However, in political circles, the redefinition of facts is considered a skill, not a personality flaw. Enter Bill and Hillary Clinton, a pair of politicians who have proven my last two statements more than true. We have already seen what kind of leadership comes from the Clinton machine from Bill's eight years as Commander-in-Chief. We are now less than a year away from an election which will, barring any major upsets, have Hillary Rodham Clinton as the Democrat candidate; and the most likely result, barring a change in the country's mindset, is at least four years of Hillary as President.

Obviously, I think this will be a bad thing. While people have assumed for years that politicians eventually become lying sacks of shit, in Bill Clinton, we saw a President that was willing to change any position, lie about anything, and do whatever it took to build his legacy. In the end, his legacy includes a man-adorned blue dress, a creatively used cigar, and his dick in an intern's mouth. I will give him credit for not destroying the country over his eight years, as we did have a good economy throughout it, and many mistakes he made were also mad by Presidents before and after.

However, unlike her charismatic husband, Hillary is far from the well-polished former President. I could imagine sitting with Bill, eating nachos, drinking beer, and watching football. Hillary, on the other hand, possesses all the charm of Rosie O'Donnell on a bad day, with perhaps a little more polish. To put it bluntly, she simply can't lie or charm people like her husband. Perhaps the greatest motivation for people to vote for her (other than the fact she has a vagina) is that it will return Bill Clinton to the White House. But that still means Hillary is President.

The best thing we can do as a people is to find someone relatively honest to send to Washington for four years. There are better options on both sides, no matter your political bent. All I can say is that it's time to get someone new in the White House. I don't know who should be in there, but I can tell you that she should not be the one.

1 comment:

patrick m said...

Addendum to my post: Ohio Governor Ted Strickland just endorsed Hillary. It saddens me that the announcement came before the governor of my great state could read my words of wisdom and endorse a better, and probably losing, candidate. Shit.