Friday, November 19, 2010

The TSA - the Gate Rape Perpetrators

As I have never flown and have no plans to in the foreseeable future, this particular mess doesn't impact me directly.  However, when a relatively non-partisan and perfect illustration of the ineptitude of the Imperial Federal Government comes along, there's no way I'm not going to comment.

The situation with the Transport Security Administration is that perfect example.  And as an added bonus, has lots of fun to poke at, since it did make "don't touch my junk" part of the national discourse.

Co-ed Naked Scanners

The current joke/mess/problem begins with the total body (or titty/booty) scanner.  Essentially, it's an x-ray style machine that can see anything hidden on the body, the size (or lack thereof in my case) of a guy's junk, clit piercings, and all manner of other fun shapes and objects.  And, as an added bonus, the paranoia bunch are adding fun with photoshop, making the images look more naked (and occasionally faking it).

Here's a full-on image search of these pics.  My conclusion here is that, while the pics are clearly revealing, we're not going to see the pics on jerk-off sites any time soon (unless there are some pervs out there turned on by x-ray boobs), except for maybe the fraudulent photoshopped ones on the Alex Jones site.  But that isn't going to stop the hyper-privacy and evil radiation crowd from crowing.  And since the scanner can't tell everything, that brings us to the bad stuff....

"Enhanced" Patdowns, AKA Foreplay, AKA Third Base, AKA Gate Rape

I don't need to go on much here, other than if this was done to my daughter, the bitch doing so would get punched in the mouth, and if it were done to me, I'd expect to have dinner, a movie, and get off (damn, i need laid). Essentially, it's a patdown that involves feeling the boobs, the ass crack, and around whatever parts you may have on the front.  Essentially, everything but sticking fingers in orifici (woo hoo!).

Now if you're doing this to a drug mule, or a suspected nutjob, or an actual terrorist suspect, fine.  Police do these kids of searches whenever necessary, for obvious safety reasons.  They don't, without arresting them, grope old ladies with worn-out body parts, they don't molest children (check the vid below), and they don't sexually assault flight attendants who are breast cancer survivors, then make them take out their prosthetic breast

It makes the "don't touch my junk" guy look boring by comparison.  But let's talk about him.  On the way to a hunting trip, he opted out of the semi-porn scanner.  So the TSA gropies made with the feeling up.  He had the wherewithal to record what happened next, as he uttered that immortal viral line.  So, having not complied like the other molested sheeple, a supervisor was called, and he was ultimately ejected, then told he would be fined $11,000 for leaving the airport without going through security.

It makes the reports of pilots allowed to carry guns but NOT those dreaded nail clippers all the more normal.  Because all of this is thanks to the touchy feely crowd commonly known as the TSA

The TSA ♥s Terrorists!!!

It's why the Drudge report the other day led with the headline "THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON" In essence, we've surrendered our rights, our freedoms, our dignity, and our common fucking sense to an idea that randomly scanning/groping people, banning shit like nail clippers, and doing everything but PROFILING FOR FUCKING TERRORISTS!!!!! is ever going to keep us safe.

And some people, amazingly, are ok with this, rationalizing that we all have to sacrifice (freedom, dignity, rights, common f'ing sense) because otherwise we'll offend the very group that, in sufficient numbers, either tolerates or supports terrorism against this country.  That would be Muslims.

Now let me clarify, when I say profiling, I don't mean automatically patting down every bastard named Mohammad (or various spelling).  I mean having trained people looking people in the eye, talking, asking questions,trying to figure out if the person in front of them has something to hide. 

And if you have a nervous Middle Eastern man named Muhammad Burka-laka-daka Jihad with a one-way ticket,  no luggage, and an Obama Osama Rules t-shirt on, standing next to a frazzled woman pushing her ancient legless veteran grandfather in a wheelchair while trying to hold onto a spastic autistic son, why the hell would you even waste time patting her, groping the old man (and finding he has no junk to touch), and molesting the child (who screams for half an hour afterward)?

The fact is that when you have a government monolith that is guided by political idiocy, a reliance on technology and mandates rather than psychology, and agents that couldn't make the cut as Wal-Mart drones, you get no real security, Constitutional rights violation by the assload (ask the ACLU), long pointless lines, and a waste of resources.  And since we need to cut the budget in many ways, let's make the TSA the first agency wiped out of utter existence.

And yes, the Obama reference a couple paragraphs ago is simply because it'll piss some of you off, not because I'm equating him with terrorists.  Lighten up.  Which is what the last section is all about:

What does TSA really Mean?

Some of these are original, some I saw on other sites.  Feel free to add your own in the comments section.

Touching Sensitive Areas
Touching and Squeezing Authority
Titty (or Testicle) Stroking (or Squeezing) Asshats
Tits, Snatch and Ass - for women
Testicles, Sack, and Ass - for men
Those Stupid Assgrabbers
Thought-free Sleazy Assmatics

And here's a vid to enjoy:

Finally, check out for more on the TSA mess (because we're sounding off in grand style).  The newest 3x2cast should be up in a few hours, as my next task is to edit it together (and it's already getting late.  Shit).


Lista said...


Toad734 said...

I actually can't believe more liberals aren't pissed about this. I mean, it's always the conservatives who want bigger, more powerful and intrusive government for the sake of safety and the liberals who want the government to stay out of their lives so it's weird that the roles are reversed here. I have to say, I am on the "don't touch my junk" guys side...Although, it is obvious that many of these phony outrage scenes are staged but still, it doesn't change the fact that the Christmas Bomber, Shoe bomber, Jose Padilla and all the others were caught and were foiled without someone taking photos of my nuts.

Lista said...

"I mean, it's always the conservatives who want bigger, more powerful and intrusive government for the sake of safety and the liberals who want the government to stay out of their lives, so it's weird that the roles are reversed here."

Are you sure you don't have that Turned Around, Toad. Liberals are the Ones who want Large Government, not the Conservatives.

I Feel Really Sad about this Whole Thing and am Trying to Feel Angry at the Liberals about it, yet believe it or not, Patrick's Christmas Music is Calming my Spirit, so I Guess I'll have to Put the Anger Off until After Christmas. lol.

Toad734 said...

No, not at all. What planet have you been living on? Its the conservatives who want the government in your bedroom, censoring your TV, banning your books, telling you what you can do with your reproductive parts, how fast you can drive, which counties you are allowed to drink in, how late you can serve alcohol, that you can't smoke weed, want the government to be able to tap your phone without a warrant, want to be able to detain you indefinitely, wants the government to have the say on who they torture and racially profile, etc.

Oh, right, liberals don't want 13 year old criminals to have Ak-47s or oil companies to dump crude oil into our drinking water...Is that what you meant?