Friday, November 27, 2009

Merchandising! Merchandising! Merchandising! (Yuletide Friday)

In lieu of actually writing a whole post, I'm going to dedicate Fridays through Christmas just collecting some Christmas-y fun. Plus the combination of beauty, peace, love, and sadistic humor calls for me to set aside some politics. So, let's begin this Black Friday with an appropriate subject:

Merchandising! Merchandising! Merchandising!

Most of my Black Friday recollections, of course were from behind the counter at 6AM, or whenever the hell we opened the store.  Because I was there, running my ass raged selling shit left, right, center, and from various orifici.  It's usually a rush for the doorbusters followed by inconsistent flow of people that may or may not buy something.

Personally, my best holiday days for sales were the last few days prior to Christmas, when the sale went this way:

Customer:  "I need to buy stuff.  Here's my money.  Here's my credit card."

*cha ching*

But on the plus, if we all chip in and get out there and buy stuff, we might stimulate the economy enough that the retail sector doesn't come screaming for a bailout in January.  That would be bad.  I'm sure some companies will tank this year.  On the plus, the sales will carry over into January, which means you don't have to max the credit cards until February.

Which means you can get teat-squeezing fun at a discount....

And even better (and newer):

I know, some of you are screaming abut the obsessive commercial aspects that make Christmas suck a dick.  But that's why I'm trying to get that cleared out early so we can get to the rest of the season with minimal commercial intrusion.  And since I couldn't come up with the appropriate Charlie Brown Christmas clip (I'll have some later), that's all I have to say about that.

And if you don't want to head out into the maelstrom, there's always online shopping:  However....

Now, get up to the top of the blog and rock out with some Christmas music. You can even leave it in the background, or bookmark the page, or whatever. It's all about rockin' the Christmas music. And I promise there's nothing sucktastic. In fact, if you have any requests, drop me the song title and preferred artist and I'll see what works. Note: If it's too hokey, I'll receive the boot.

So buy shit and be ready for next week's installment, which may include some lights, a metal Christmas, and what would really happen if Charlie Brown brought back a ragged POS tree.


Beth said...

Nice thought but with high unemployment and many of us who received pay cuts this year, I just don't see it happening as you would like. I struggled to find good gifts for some family birthdays we had this month, I don't see the situation improving the next few weeks.

Satyavati devi dasi said...

I start shopping in July cause I don't like to rush, and usually (not this year, though) I'm done by October. The whole Black Friday thing is enough to give me a panic attack just contemplating it. Plus, with where we live, I have to drive 45+ miles one way to get to like the nearest mall, so online shopping is the way to go, period.

For your music list: Jeff Beck, Amazing Grace. What that man has is amazing tone.


Z-man said...

I find myself being more like soapie, I hate people. Herd mentalities, can't stand it so I try to get a jump on things before Black Friday. Crowds, like some days I can't even park in my own neighborhood, what is everyone out of work? Patience was never my forte, I'm dismayed by Society quite frankly, I'm not someone who thrives on chaos so I'll shop sometime in the middle of next week when things calm down. I hate excitable people anyway, told my stressed out lady boss the other day to pop a Prozac. I've simplified things greatly over the years, for those who drink: booze (although good booze) and maybe some money here and there. Just read a George Will column yesterday about the millions of dollars spent on gifts nobody wants so I try to put some value into my giftgiving.

Pamela D. Hart said...

Patrick: I don't remember that cow commercial but it was funny. Amazing how they will sell just about anything to kids and it doesn't look like it's going to change.

I have never gone out on Black Friday--no desire to be with big crowds. I'll probably start shopping next week for my 2 sons. My parents are done, as I try to grab stuff throughout the year. My husband and I just buy one another stocking stuffers as we are putting "gift" money into our mortgage instead. Paying that off is more important to us than "presents".

But it will be a good Christmas because our sons will be happy and that makes us happy.

Patrick M said...

Beth: I understand. I haven't started shopping yet, and I'm not sure where money for Christmas is coming from yet. But for those that have cash (and not credit cards), it's time to throw down.

Saty: It's not for the faint of heart. In fact, I probably would stand by the wayside. I can see online shopping replacing much of the black Friday rush. Then the person who's too late can just curse and smash their computer (and then go buy a new one).

Z-man: The secret is to sit off by the wayside and laugh at the stampedes. Or, as I wrote several years earlier, a little anthrax milkshake would be a cure for the mall morons. :)

Pam: I don't remember the cow either (having gestated through 9 months of the 70's). I just found it and thought it was funny. I'm just waiting for the sequel: the action horse breeding kit (with manual boot and squirting action).

As for the idea of reducing debt, that's always a good one.

rockync said...

I, on the other hand, remember that cow, having had my own youngsters at the time. Since we HAD a farm where were raising dairy cattle, this item was NOT on the boys' top ten list.
Had it been, I would have sent them to the barn to do all the milking their little hearts desired!
As for all that present buying, long line waiting, mall crawling crap; I just can't do it. I give all my loved ones time, money and gifts throughout the year and see no reason to lose my mind in December. I usually pick up some little gift and give them all money - let them do their own shopping! They'll like whatever they get better than what I might buy.
Other than that, my husband and I try to give a little more to the local crisis charity which we contribute to throughout the year. We stopped in there the other day and it was awful. People waiting to be seen and crying. So many of them! I can't really justify a lot of spending on Christmas when so many in my community are in such need.

Patrick M said...

Rocky: An idea I heard was the idea of adopting a family w/kids that can't afford anything and giving them Christmas. It could be a family thing.

If I ever get my financial situation squared away and when the kids are old enough to be willing (adults), then it's something I'll look into in lieu of a spending orgy.