Monday, August 17, 2009


It's Monday, and what better way to confuse you than with acronyms! I'll translate.

See I Told You S0

First of all, let's revisit and Asshat of the Week from two weeks ago, when the Car Dealers got some mockery for their embrace of Cash for Clunkers:

That leaves the Car dealerships themselves. They're about to learn the lessons of Medicare.

First, government NEVER puts enough money onto any program, because they allocate based on political necessity, not any sane economic model. That's probably why the first billion in the program burnt away in a couple of weeks and the spendaholics in Washington are looking to throw more money at the program. They did the same thing with the government-sponsored digital converter boxes.

And while consumers get their cars and pay the rest in real time, the dealers have to absorb the costs until the GOVERNMENT PAYS THEM! This is the real problem. Suppose the number of vouchers submitted far exceeds the allocated funds (it will, of course)? Then either someone takes some hits, or the government rations either the amount paid or the number of vouchers per a timeframe.

So I find this article as I'm gearing up for this week's AOTW:

Auto Dealers Paid for Just 2 Percent of 'Clunkers' Claims, Congressman Says

I don't like being right as often as I am when it's a sucky situation (suckuation?), but a See I Told You So is clearly in order.

Cheap Redundant Assorted Products AKA the Public Option

(nod to Bob Franken for the list where I found the above acronym)

Although Washington will still ram something through that will make health care worse (no matter which party messes it up), the public (government) option in health care is the latest provision on life support:

Democratic senator: Public health insurance option dead
I'm guessing that Senator Kent Conrad (D, N Dakota), despite the propaganda, sees the writing on the wall based on public reaction to the current plan. Either way, it means that the magical 60 votes aren't there anymore. And this may slow down the rush to saddle the health care system with a rushed mess of a bill just enough that there's a chance that Washington could actually get it right.

Okay, that was almost dishonest to say, because I've never seen Washington get it right in my life; they are best at taking lemons and making lemonade (without sugar and with the lemons in a sack, and the lemonade tastes like piss). It would be more honest to say that delays mean less damage to an already damaged system.

And now, to round out the acronyms, with an acronym getting the award:

PETA is Asshat of the Week

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, being so insane that they can ruin even hot naked chicks by injecting anti-fur tirades into nudity, is a candidate for Perpetual Ashattery. I don't even have the blog space to list all the crap they pull. But I settled on them after a trip over to PCC's site (yes, another acronym).

As my kids and I end up at McDonalds regularly (it's cheap and they like the crap) and they scarf down the Crappy Meals, this one had me laughing. Especially since I remember the good old days when I was a kid. We butchered chickens (using that tried and tested method of bending a nail over to hold 'em, then chopping their heads off with a ax. The result is that the headless chicken would run around for a bit, spraying blood all over. I thought it was a hoot. And don't even get me started about the pig we had when we were young (we named it Bacon; guess what happened to him).

So the unHappy Meal is both tame and lame. And PETA won't rest until we're mainlining tofu. And yes, tofu is one of the few things I won't eat. I like my food to be a dead animal.

And on a fairly unrelated note (and advice I'd had when I was in Catholic School):

*for clarification, a true acronym is an abbreviation that makes another word. But since the vast majority of people fudge the definition of acronym, I'm going to have my way with it as well (no pics, thankfully).


Toad734 said...

Actually, I prefer Tofu in some things over beef or chicken. In Chili for instance...well, I do like turkey chili but in most Asian quisine I would prefer tofu. But when it comes to the grill, thats another story.

You really shouldn't feed your kids so much McDonalds, its one of the reason diabetes is so common these days and why health care costs have sky rocketed. But, they are your kids.

Anonymous said...

PETA makes a great AOTW! This is only one of their many stupid ass things they do!

I'd be a bit pissed if I only received only 2% of the claims. I don't see the government keeping their promises on this one. Should that surprise me? Oh and people actually want them running health care......

Bullfrog said...

I wouldn't come down too hard on the car dealers for "embracing" Cash for Clunkers. They probably knew the dollars and cents wouldn't add up, BUT didn't want to risk turning away people for not being involved in the program and possibly lose their customer base.

Patrick M said...

Toad: You prefer tofu over chicken? Explains a lot. :)

No argument on the McDonalds front. That's why I make it a once-a-week thing. I know that if I had to eat that shit more than a once a week, I'd be forced to hurl. But even that crap is okay if you eat it in moderation.

Jenn: I'm waiting for someone to try to defend the PETA pukes. then I get to have fun.

And I think that's why I equated Cash for Clunkers with Medicare in the original post.

Bullfrog: First of all, long time, no see.

I understand that they probably knew there was some risk of a government screwing, and they had to take advantage of it or risk getting hosed. But that doesn't meant I can't make fun of them while touting my own infinite wisdom and humbleness (and ridiculous egregiousness).

Pasadena Closet Conservative said...

Thanks for the plug. Your Asshat awards are always entertaining!