Sunday, March 8, 2009

Good Weather, Short Post, and the AOTW

72 degrees. That's what it peaked at in this part of Ohio on Saturday (thank you global warming). It's cool in a way that I like. I had the kids outside without jackets, cleaned my car (which was a necessity due to what turned out to be soured milk jugs that were neglected in the sub-zero weather), and a reason to grill. Unfortunately, it also meant allergies, which leveled me late in the day and ruined Sunday. And with the younglings running around, I easily lost ground on the cleaning. And I'm rationing the remaining cereal and milk so I can get it when I don't feel like crap tomorrow (I hope). Hopefully the next two days (which I have off) will stay at least decent.

But my procrastination, paired with feeling shitty, bring me to declare a specific person as Asshat of the Week because I couldn't think of anyone else specifically that deserved it more. And there were a few possibilities. A mom feeding and driving her baby, another woman calling 911 thrice because McDonalds was out of Chicken McMaggots, someone in the Obama administration because it's the Obama administration, someone in the GOP for similar reasons, and the piece of shit who decided to shoot up a church today. But this bastard certainly deserves the ridicule:

Patrick M, your humble oracle of pure wisdom, is Asshat of the Week!

Here's why. First, I procrastinated up to the last second writing this, partially because of the headaches, but also because I was burning up time doing other crap (like PS2 when I should have been cleaning). In addition, I let the blogs slide, reading a little here and there but wasting every second I was at home not doing so.

Second, I lost track of all the interesting things happening in the news. Partially, this was to watch movies and play with the kids, but also because I just skipped most of the news shows.

And third, because I came up with the brilliant idea of declaring an Asshat of the Week in the first place, thus obligating me to do the work. And I'm a lazy sack of shit.

So I'm not defending a damn thing about this pick, because it's your opportunity to ridicule and insult me for shits and giggles. So, have at it you milkylickers!


Anonymous said...

Damn, I got nothing! Guess I am just a softy.

Playing with the kids is always a good thing, so bonus points for you there whether you want them or not.

I'm sure Shaw and Arthur won't have my problem though......LOL

dmarks said...

Don't draw too much attention to yourself, or Obama will start to make speeches against you, and several Democrats in Congress will propose laws to ban you.

Arthurstone said...

Clearly you've suffered enough.

Congratulations on your AOTW award!

Here's a choice we all of us (without regard to age, race, gender, religious affiliation, political leanings, income, education, sexual orientation) can agree with. It's the seemingly simple day to day accomplishments which help to unite us. A wonderful example of our shared common values.

Hope you're feeling better and I hope this is only first in a series of well-deserved awards!

TAO said...

Oh, darn...I wanted to be AOTW this week!

I think the judge was biased.

Gordon said...

Ah, you went for the easy target this week!

BB-Idaho said...

Isn't that like Sean Penn giving himself an Oscar?

Shaw Kenawe said...

Sorry Patrick. No one that good looking is allowed to be AoTW.

I demand you recant.

Beth said...

Well I think I actually have to agree with Shaw for once, you are good-looking, Patrick!

(Suggestion - how about Asshat of the Month instead, takes the pressure off you, and you could sell calendars next year with the winners!)

Patrick M said...

Jenn: playing with the kids doesn't work when I'm laid up with a headache all day (Sunday), though.

Dmarks: That's the whole idea.

Arthur: Well, if I can piss the prez off....

Tao: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll win it one of these days.

Gordon: Yeah?

BB: Uh, he almost did, now, didn't he? He took the lead in the politically apropos topic movie. The fix was in.

Shaw, Beth: You should see a good pic then. This was after three hours of sleep and after the birth of my daughter (she's in the original I cropped this from, due to lack of pics of me).

Beth: No, there are too many asshats. It would be too much work trying to decide.

Beth said...

It kinda cracks me up when the Dad says after the baby is born how they may not look their best in the photos, when it wasn't you pushing a watermelon through your, well, you know...

Patrick M said...

Beth: You don't have to parse words. Been there, seen that. And it was the lack of sleep and being up most of the night that did it.

BTW, a watermelon is an exaggeration. Suck it up.

Beth said...

My kids were 9 lbs 3 oz and 10 lbs 6 oz at birth, I don't think I exaggerate.

(ironically they are both short for their age now)

Anonymous said...

Holy crap Beth! I thought my kids were hard enough and they were only 7lbs 2 oz and 7lbs 3 oz.

Suck it up...spoken just like a man!

Patrick M said...

7 lbs 15.9 oz and 7 lbs 15 oz, respectively.

The first was an 18-hour ordeal which only was solved with a happy little drip. The second was speedy.

But yeah, your babies were bigger. Of course, with mine, their mom was small (5'4", 115 lbs before the first one).

BTW, I'd NEVER say that during the actual labor as I value my testicles.

Satyavati devi dasi said...

Hey, I was in Columbus on Sunday.

I just kept yelling "HELLO CLEVELAND!" as we passed all those road signs.

Oh, and we went to Westerville, too.

The weather was nice.