Tuesday, April 29, 2008

My List of People Who Should Go Away

There are far too many people out there that are annoying the shit out of me because they are offensive to listen to, have overstayed their welcome in public and political discourse, and/or would make the world a better place if they didn't publicly emote their (empty) thoughts and (drizzling shit) opinions. Thus, since I am a list making fool, here's my list, beginning with the moronico that inspired it:

Jeremiah Wright: We'll start with this loudmouth because I want to get him out of the way fast. He seems to think Barack Obama would make a great Prez. Yet this yammering albatross is taking every opportunity to show up and comment, which means talk radio and 24-hour news has a reason to play a "God Damn America" clip. J Wright, you have a new house. Move into it and stay there. Then I don't have to talk about you.

Newt Gingrich and Arnold Schwarzenegger (and AlGore too) - Two Republicans, one agenda. Yes this is the global warming one. Why Newt is conceding defeat on GW is unknown to me, but it's insane. To accept a flawed premise and argue how to "solve" it only empowers the enviro-CHUDs. And Arnold, while never the hard conservative, is gleefully running his state into the ground. Hey Arnold, you got elected because the last governor was fiscally and economically stupid and couldn't manage the state out of its socialist morass. Maybe California should have elected Gary Coleman instead. As for Al, what more needs to be said?

Mike Huckabee - I'm still pissed at him for his spoiler role, as well as pretending he was competition after taking out Mitt Romney. Thanks to Huck-a-duck, we get PingPong McCain as our candidate. And of course, we get treated to expert analysis whenever the Huckster can get face time (weekly) on Hannity and Colmes. So go back to Arkansas, and drag that other governor from your state with you. You know, the one who's wife is running. Because, surprise, surprise, surprise, he's annoying me too.

Jimmy Carter - This one is far too easy, so rather than list his faults, I'll just (verbally) kick him in the back till he coughs blood. Get back to Georgia, build some houses, and stop trying to relive your glory days proving how inept you are at dealing with America's enemies. And when you feel the desire to open your mouth, get some peanuts and insert them! And when your mouth is full start on the remaining body cavities.

All Celebs with Causes - When you choose to emote words, do it for pay in front of pro movie or TV cameras. Stop doing it for the news cameras with hacked, B-movie scripts because it gives you a sense of 'doing something' for whatever cheese-headed cause you think will make you more than a tool that could be replaced by a digital character. Harrison Ford inspired this one by getting waxed for the rain forests. So unless you are talking about your movie or in your movie, go away. (exception for U2's Bono, who at least is informed and intelligent when he spouts crap)

Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John "PingPong" McCain - How we ended up with this idiotic slate of candidates proves the country is going to utter shit. And the worst thing is that one of these three will be around for four years, and will get national coverage anytime he or she opens their blathering piehole. Barack, take your faux populism and sail back to Chicago on your big-assed ears. Hill, stop laughing, drag your balls and chain (Bill) back home and start knitting something for the day Chelsea (your only real accomplishment) starts popping babies. And John, just switch parties. Then I can start calling myself a Republican again.

Okay, that was cathartic. I'll have to come up with more lists like this.

Does anybody have any additions to this list, besides fellow bloggers of the other persuasion? Just remember, try to make me laugh when you rip.


Dee said...

I looooooove this title and this post!!! I will definitely have to link to this and will probably use it on the radio show, if I remember. Good stuff!!

I agree with each and every person on your list and usually thats hard to get me to agree on everything. We think alike, scary ;-)!!

Cajun Tiger said...

Great posts! To your Carter segment, I'd add all former Presidents and presidential candidates who continue to act like anyone cares what they have to say anymore like Kerry, Clinton, Ferraro, Mondale, Hart...hmmm...why is it that those are all Dems and the former Repubs have the decency and honor to know they had their shot and now they are on the sideline. Oh the good ole days when former Presidents respected the office by not commenting on their successors.

Timothy said...

Great post, wish I had thought of it!

Patrick M said...

Dee, thanks for the link. And my blog is like a virus. It comes in and takes over your thoughts. Why do you think I encourage the liberals to come here?

Cajun: I gave Bill Clinton a pass on my list because right now, he's the spouse of a current candidate, thus he is given a platform to annoy us. Although, had I made the list before this year, Der Schlickmeister would have been on it. And the rest aren't on TV constantly, except for Geraldine, who hasn't annoyed me that much.

Timothy: That's why I'm here.

Rivka said...

Patrick M,
Great post! You are saying what most of us think. I agree with every one on that list. I wish they would go away. This whole election is really a night mare. It is like a bad dream come true. I mean, McCain as our nominee??? Along with two Marxists?

If I get an IBS attack, or twist my other ankle for some reason and can't go to the polls it won't bother me. Isn't that sad?

Rivka said...

Of course if McCain picks a conservative V.P. and at this point, I agree that JC Watts would be a stellar choice, then I would go to the polls no matter what I was up against.

Patrick M said...

Well, twisting your ankle wouldn't be so bad. The GOP has thrown out its back.

Inserting its head up its ass, that is.

That's why I had all three Democrat candidates in the list.

Incognito said...

a while back I would have added Ron Paul...

I don't have as much a problem with McCain as many of you do. I think he will be fine, and certainly a gazillion times better than Hillary or Obama.

Patrick M said...

In: Thankfully, Ron Paul is gone from the news, despite his followers.

While I will agree that McCain is the lesser of two evils, the reason he made the list is because he's the Republican candidate, but he continues to piss off conservatives with half his speeches and antics.

That's why I say we're going to get a Democrat in the white house for at least four years. And if that Dem is McCain, we'll get one in 2012 too.

Incognito said...

I think McCain, if he gets in (and I pray he does because we are sunk if either of the other 2 do) will surprise many on the far right. I don't think he will be as bad as they project him to be. Just my 2 cents.

Patrick M said...

I pray you're right about McCain. He has yet to inspire me to have any confidence in him.